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ARE YOU STILL PLAYING THAT GAME WHERE YOU CREATE A WHOLE CITY FROM THE GROUND UP?
YES. AND TODAY I GAVE THE PEOPLE TWO EDICTS... THINK FOR YOURSELVES... AND DON'T BE IDIOTS.
WHAT HAPPENED?
THEIR LITTLE HEADS EXPLODED.

LOOK AT THIS NEW GAME. YOU CREATE YOUR OWN CITY FROM THE GROUND UP.
HOW'S YOUR CITY COMING ALONG?
BAD. I'VE GOT A SANITATION STRIKE, A BUNCH OF WHINING PROTESTERS AND A LOT OF CRIME, BUT I'VE GOT A PLAN TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING
WOOOOSH!! AUGH!!!!! TAP TAP
YOUR PLAN WAS A GREAT FLOOD?
YES. THEY'RE FASTER THAN CITY COUNCIL MEETINGS.

HEY, MY POETRY SUBMISSION MUST HAVE FALLEN OUT OF THE MAILBOX… I'LL PUT IT BACK IN.
PTOOI!
PERHAPS YOU SHOULD RETHINK YOUR ARTISTIC ENDEAVORS.

WHAT ARE YOU MAILING?
MY NEW SUBMISSION TO THE POETRY MAGAZINE.
DIDN'T THEY REJECT IT LAST TIME WITHOUT EVEN SEEING IT?
YEAH... BUT I FIGURE IT CAN'T GET ANY MORE HUMILIATING THAN THAT.
PTUI!

WHAT'S THE MATTER, PIG?
I WROTE A REALLY GOOD POEM AND THAT POETRY MAGAZINE REJECTED IT.
BUT THEY REJECT ALMOST ALL THE POEMS THEY RECEIVE. WHY ARE YOU LETTING IT BOTHER YOU?
I HAVEN'T SENT IT YET.

P-L-U-M-B-E-R ... PLUMBER ... THIRTEEN POINTS.
D-O-G ... DOG ... THE "O" IS ON DOUBLE LETTER, SO SIX POINTS.
BAARAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
NOT A REAL WORD.
NO POINTS. YOU LOSE, CHUCKIE.
NON-ANTHROPOMORPHIC SHEEP HAVE NO CHANCE AT 'SCRABBLE'.

HOW WAS YOUR FIRST DAY TRAINING TO BE A REFRIGERATOR REPAIRMAN?
BAD. THEY REJECTED ME.
HOW COULD THEY REJECT YOU AFTER ONE DAY?
THEY SAID I JUST WASN'T ONE OF THEIR CRACK CANDIDATES.
NEXT!

I DON'T LIKE GOATS FRIEND.
YOU MEAN CHUCKIE, THE NON-ANTHROPOMORPHIC SHEEP?
YEAH... I MEAN, IF ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND AND EAT AND UTTER NON-DECIPHERABLE SOUNDS, WHAT'S THE USE OF LIVING?
MMMMM... GUH BUHGUH...

CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER?
I'LL HAVE A HOT DOG.
ME TOO.
BURGER PLEASE.
AND HOW ABOUT YOU ON THE END?
OH, HE JUST WANTS SOME GRASS.
HOLY@#%!!
WE'RE GOING TO JAIL!!!
I'M TOO PRETTY! I'M TOO PRETTY!!!

PIG, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY FRIEND, CHUCKIE, THE SHEEP.
NICE TO MEET YOU, CHUCKIE.
BAAAAAHH!
NOT ALL ANIMALS ARE ANTHROPOMORPHIC, YOU KNOW.

WHERE WERE YOU?
GIVING MY CAR KEYS TO THE VALET PARKING GUY.
THIS RESTAURANT DOESN'T HAVE VALET PARKING.
THEN WHO WAS THE GUY WITH THE GUN?
THE NEW OWNER OF YOUR CAR.
NO TIP FOR THAT GUY.

I JUST SAW A BUNCH OF GOOSes.
THEY'RE CALLED GEESE.
OH.
I JUST SAW A BUNCH OF GEESEs.

PIZZA DELIVERY...
HOLY @#*%! WHAT'S ON YOUR HEAD?
OH, THAT? IT'S THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA. IT'S OUR LOGO.
BUT... HOW CAN YOU WEAR THAT?
OH, I DON'T MIND. ALTHOUGH KEEPING MY HEAD TILTED LIKE THIS DOES HURT MY NECK A LITTLE.
BUT THAT'S EMBARRASSING.
I KNOW... BUT I NEED THE MONEY... I'VE GOT TWO KIDS.
HANG ON...
HERE.
WHAT'S THAT?
TWO HUNDRED BUCKS... IT'S ALL I'VE GOT...
WOW... THANKS.
DING
DONG
DING
DONG
DING
DONG

HEY, A PHOTO BOOTH... I WANT TO TRY THAT.
DO YOU KNOW HOW?
I'M NOT A TOTAL MORON.

OKAY, HERE'S ONE... A GREEK, AN ITALIAN AND A POLE WALK INTO A BAR......
HAHAHAHAHA
WAIT... WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING SO HARD? ... I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED THE JOKE.
I GUESS IT'S JUST FUNNY TO IMAGINE A POLE WALKING.

I BELIEVE THAT OUR LIVES ARE PREDESTINED AT BIRTH.
MY LIFE IS FIXED?
THAT HAPPENED TO OUR NEIGHBOR'S CAT.

THIS BOOK SAYS THAT MARK TWAIN WAS BORN THE YEAR OF HALLEY'S COMET AND PREDICTED HE WOULD DIE WHEN IT RETURNED.
HOW SAD.
WHY IS THAT SAD?
HE GOT HIT BY A COMET.
IT DIDN'T HIT HIM.
THAT'S ONE HAPPY WRONG GUY.

HOW WAS THE BEACH?
NOT GOOD... SOME GUYS BURIED ME IN THE SAND.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?... IT'S JUST A HARMLESS BEACH GAME.
LOW TIDE, DUDE.

WILL YOU TWO BE NEEDING LOBSTER BIBS WITH YOUR LOBSTER TONIGHT?
NO THANKS... WE'VE ALREADY GOT THEM.
WE DO?
THEY KEEP 'EM IN THE BATHROOM STALLS.

WELL HA HA HA... BEANS ARE GETTING EXPENSIVE.
YOU KNOW... I REALLY DON'T CARE.
IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO INSIST ON TELLING ORDINARY, COMMONPLACE THOUGHTS ALOUD AS A MEANS OF ENGAGING COMPLETE STRANGERS IN CONVERSATION.
IS IT MY FAULT THAT YOU'RE SO MISERABLE AND LONELY THAT YOU'VE GOT TO TALK TO STRANGERS YOU SEE IN A GROCERY STORE? I DIDN'T TALK TO YOU, NOW DID I?
GET A JOB! GET A DOG! GET A LIFE! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE BEING APPROACHED BY WHACKED-OUT LOSERS SEARCHING DESPERATELY FOR HUMAN INTERACTION!
YES, HONEY... THEY'RE EXPENSIVE.
THOSE DARN BEANS! JUST WANNA BEANS!

SENATE HEARINGS INTO "BOX ME IN"
SENATORS, THIS IS A HYPOCRITICAL WITCH-HUNT... FAT PEOPLE EVERYWHERE ARE USING "BOX ME IN" AND GETTING GREAT RESULTS.
SIR, YOU KNOW AND I KNOW THAT YOUR PRODUCT PREYS ON THE VULNERABILITY OF OBESE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE.
I'M HAVING TROUBLE HEARING YOU, SENATOR.
WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TURN UP THIS MIKE?

SENATE HEARINGS INTO "BOX ME IN."
SIR, DON'T YOU THINK A PRODUCT THAT TELLS PEOPLE TO PACK THEMSELVES INTO BOXES FOR DAYS WITHOUT FOOD SHOULD COME WITH SOME WARNINGS?
IT DOES, SENATOR. I SPECIFICALLY WARN PEOPLE NOT TO USE "BOX ME IN" WHILE SITTING ON THEIR FRONT PORCH!
WHY IS THAT?
THEY TEND TO GET SHIPPED PLACES.

CONGRESS TODAY OPENED HEARINGS INTO "BOX ME IN," A WEIGHT-LOSS PRODUCT THAT REQUIRES OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE TO SHOVE THEMSELVES INTO A BOX FOR DAYS.
TESTIFYING BEHIND SCREENS TO PROTECT THEIR IDENTITY, CONSUMERS OF "BOX ME IN" PROVIDED SENATORS WITH HEARTBREAKING TALES OF WOE.
I AM A SHADOW OF MY FORMER SELF.

GOAT SAYS YOU'RE EXPLOITING FAT PEOPLE BY SELLING THEM A CARDBOARD BOX THEY HAVE TO SIT IN TO LOSE WEIGHT.
YES... "BOX ME IN" IS SWEEPING THE NATION... SOME PEOPLE ARE BUYING THEM FOR THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY.
I CAN'T SEE THE TV, MOM.
ONLY A FEW MORE DAYS, TIMMY.
MEOW.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE PROMOTING A DIET PLAN THAT INVOLVES SHOVING YOURSELF INTO A CARDBOARD BOX AND STAYING THERE FOR DAYS.
PLEASE. "BOX ME IN" IS A PROVEN WEIGHT-LOSS TECHNIQUE.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THAT AND STARVATION?
ABOUT THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS.