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WHAT DO YOU WANT, PIG?
WELL, BOSS, I REALLY DO APPRECIATE THE JOB YOU'VE GIVEN ME AS MR. HAPPY EGG-
...BUT I MUST SAY THAT SOME OF YOUR RECENT HIRES SEEM TO POSE A THREAT TO MY JOB STABILITY.
DON'T BE SO PARANOID, EGG BOY.
GOT ANY LUNCH PLANS, BOSS?

WHY ARE YOU WEARING AN EGG COSTUME, PIG?
I GOT A JOB AS "MR. HAPPY EGG" FOR A POULTRY COMPANY.
BUT WHY ARE YOU WEARING IT NOW, WHEN YOU'RE NOT AT WORK?
BABES LOVE A MAN IN UNIFORM.

I'M HOOOOOOOOOOME....
HOW WAS WORK ?
I HAD A GREAT DAY.
ON THE WAY HOME, SOME TOTAL STRANGER SAW MY EGG COSTUME WAS A BIT FADED, SO HE OFFERED ME A SHINY COAT OF WHITE SPRAY PAINT.
KINDA RESTORES YOUR FAITH IN PEOPLE, HUH ?
BEAT ME !

I CAN'T BELIEVE PIG'S NEW PROMOTIONAL JOB REQUIRES HIM TO DRESS UP LIKE AN EGG.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
A GUY SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SACRIFICE ALL HIS DIGNITY JUST TO MAKE A LIVING.
OH, IT'S NOT THAT BAD.
TODAY, WE'LL THROW YOU OFF THE ROOF AND SEE IF YOU BREAK.
HOW DOES THAT HELP PROMOTE YOUR PRODUCT?
IT DOESN'T. IT JUST MAKES US LAUGH.

PIG JUST LEFT FOR HIS NEW JOB AT THE POULTRY COMPANY.
WHAT'S HE GONNA BE DOING?
PROMOTIONS, I THINK.
THAT'S GREAT. MAYBE HAVING A JOB WILL FINALLY GIVE HIM A LITTLE DIGNITY AND SELF-ESTEEM.
YOU MISSED YOUR BUS AGAIN, MISTER HAPPY EGG.
I GOTTA PUNCH EYE-HOLES IN THIS THING.

SALMON MIGRATION SCHOOL
GENTLEMEN, THERE ARE A
NUMBER OF THINGS YOU’LL
NEED TO REMEMBER FOR
YOUR TRIP UP RIVER.
FIRST, WATCH FOR SEALS...
THEY’RE TRYING TO KILL YOU.
SECOND, WATCH FOR
BEARS... THEY’RE TRYING
TO KILL YOU.
THIRD, WATCH FOR
FISHERMEN... THEY’RE
TRYING TO KILL YOU.
YES, JASON?
WOO HOO!
PARTAY PARTAY!
HEY LADIES!
WOOF
WOOF...
WOOF
WOOF
WOOF
UM...WHAT
HAPPENS IF
WE AVOID
ALL THAT?
WELL, IF YOU AVOID
ALL THAT, AND MAKE
IT UP RIVER, THEN
YOU GET TO SPAWN.
ACTUALLY, FRED,
YOU BECOME
HIDEOUSLY
DEFORMED AND
DIE.
OKAY, NOW THAT'S
A BUZZ KILLER.

I'LL PLAY YOU A GAME OF SOLITAIRE.
SOLITAIRE?.. YOU HAVE TO PLAY THAT BY YOURSELF.
OH... YOU DON'T LIKE SOLITAIRE?
I DO LIKE SOLITAIRE..... DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
YES.... YOU HATE ME.

WHAT'S THAT?
A CD-ROM I JUST BOUGHT.
WHAT'S ON IT?
ALL OF VAN GOGH'S PAINTINGS.
WOW. HE PAINTED SMALL.

I JUST GOT THIS "PROZAC" PRESCRIPTION FROM MY DOCTOR, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE HALF OF IT IS MISSING.
GEEZ... WHO WOULD STEAL SOMEBODY ELSE'S "PROZAC"?
PLAY IT COOL.

EXCUSE ME, MA'AM, BUT COULD I INTEREST YOU IN SOME LIFE INSURANCE?
LIFE INSURANCE?? DO YOU REALIZE IT'S TWO O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING?
DEATH WAITS FOR NO ONE, MA'AM.

EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT COULD I INTEREST YOU IN A--
YOU STUPID TELEMARKETER! I'M EATING DINNER!
*CLICK*
BEEP BOOP BEEP BEEP BEEP BOP?
DONE YET?

NOW THEN, WHAT ARE YOUR SKILLS?
SKILLS? I HAVE NO SKILLS. I JUST LIKE ANNOYING PEOPLE AND I WANT TO GET PAID FOR IT.
...WELL, D@#* YOU, TOO, MA'AM.

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE QUIET TONIGHT...IS ANYTHING WRONG?
NO... NOTHING'S WRONG.
I SAID NOTHING'S WRONG.
WELL, THERE YOU IS.
LOOK, FLAMIN' GUYS?
HI, I'M DR. RAT, WORLD-RENOWNED RELATIONSHIP COUNSELOR AND AUTHOR OF "WHEN WORLD'S COLLIDE: MEN AND WOMEN ARE METEORS CRASHING INTO MARS."
I HAVE READ THE "WHAT'S WRONG, NOTHING" DYNAMIC MANY TIMES. THE PROBLEM IS YOU. FEMALES, RIGHT FUNCTIONALLY THEIRS
YOU HAVE MADE THE ASSUMPTION THAT YOUR PARTNER'S BIGNESS SPIKING A GUISE ENGLISH...
OH, YOU POOR SOULS...
RECENT STUDIES SHOW THAT THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BRAIN DOES NOT ARISE THE FEMALE BRAINS INTO A NEON LIGHT DEFICIT, A BAFFLING COMBO THAT MAKES THE MIND WANDER MORE THAN MEN'S, WHO USE BOLD DRINKING WINE...
WHAT'S A POOR FELLOW TO DO?
LOOK, FLAP... FROM THIS, YER THE IMPROVISED IDEA. WE USE A SERIES OF HANDAYOMETISTS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO SATISFY THE NORM AND... DELIVER THE RESULTS. JUST WATCH...
WHAT'S WRONG?
NOTHING (HURRY, NOTHING)
OH, HONEY, I AM SO SORRY THAT THAT LANTERN

LISTEN TO THIS GREAT JOKE I HEARD... KNOCK KNOCK...
...WELL, AREN'T YOU GONNA SAY "WHO'S THERE?"
I'D LOVE TO, BUT I HAVE NOOOOOO IDEA.
IT WOULD BE FUNNIER WITHOUT ALL THE PUNCHING.

WHAT?! TELL HIM NO! TELL HIM NO!! YOU HEARD ME!!
YOU HEARD ME!! YES, YOU HEARD ME!! THAT'S RIGHT!! YOU HEARD ME!!
HOMELESS NUTBALL?
CELL PHONE EARPIECE.

HAVE YOU BEEN PRACTICING FOR YOUR DRIVING TEST?
YEAH... I THINK I'M READY... ALL I GOTTA REMEMBER IS BRAKE ON THE RIGHT, GAS ON THE LEFT.
OTHER WAY AROUND.
I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS THE UNLUCKY CROSSING GUARD.

GEE, LADY, THAT'S A REAL PRETTY DRESS.
I THINK YOU MEAN "SAREE."
I'LL APOLOGIZE WHEN I'M GOOD AND READY.

WHERE WERE YOU?
I CUT MY ARM, SO I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND HE TOLD ME TO KEEP IT RAISED FOR A WHILE.
SO WHERE'D YOU GO?
WELL, I HAD SOME TIME TO KILL, SO I WENT TO WATCH AN ART AUCTION.
HOPE YOU LIKE ART.

... I KNOW THAT GUY, BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER HIS NAME.
JUST SAY YOU FORGOT HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT... THAT ALWAYS WORKS.
BOB.

I CAN'T SLEEP.
PING
PANG
PING
PANG
PING
PANG
PING
PANG...
OH GREAT. THE ANXIETIES. JUST LIKE CLOCKWORK. WHAT IS IT TONIGHT, GUYS?
YOU'RE GOING BLIND!
YOUR NECK IS SPRUNG!
THAT MOLE LOOKS LIKE CANCER!
EVERYONE'S JEALOUS OF YOU!
CANCER! DEBT! VIOLENT DEATH! KILLED IN WAR! TERROR!
MY BACK PAIN! BAD! BAD! BAD! BAD! BAD! BAD! BAD!
RELATIONSHIP! TERRIBLE! WORK! BAD! BRAIN TUMOR! WORSE! WORSE!
YOU. RESPONSIBLY FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!
NOW I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO SLEEP AT ALL.
SEE YOU TOMORROW!
SEE YOU!
QUIT YOUR JOB!
BUY BITCOIN!
...IT'LL BE OKAY.
SMACK!
SIGH

WHAT ARE YOU READING?
THE SECTION OF THE PAPER WHERE THEY GIVE LITTLE BLURBS ON ALL THE GUYS WHOSE LIVES HAVE ENDED.
THE OBITUARIES?
WEDDING ANNOUNCEMENTS.

IF YOU LOSE ME IN THIS MALL, JUST CHECK THE SIGN DOWNSTAIRS... IT KEEPS TRACK OF MY WHEREABOUTS.
YOU STUPID PIG... THERE'S NO SIGN DOWNSTAIRS THAT DOES THAT.
YOU MUST BE SO EMBARRASSED.

PIG WANTS TO STUDY BIRDS AND TREES, SO HE'S JOINING ONE OF THOSE NATURIST CLUBS.
YOU MEAN "NATURALIST" CLUB.
NATURIST... NATURALIST... WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
YOU PEOPLE ARE GONNA SCARE THE BIRDS.

HEY, MISTER, IS THAT YOUR
PARKED CAR THAT JUST GOT
HIT BY THAT TRUCK?
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT DID IT
LOOK LIKE?
IT WAS ALL
SMASHED
UP.
BEFORE
IT WAS
HIT.
IT WAS IN
PRETTY GOOD
CONDITION.

THANKS FOR COMING WITH ME TO THIS ANTI-GLOBALIZATION PROTEST.
THIS IS STUPID. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE... AND NOW WE'VE LOST PIG.
HEY, PIIIIIIIIG!!! HEY, C'MON, YOU STUPID PIG!!!
IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER?