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HERE'S YOUR TACO FROM THE DRIVE-THRU.

WHAT THE?? THIS TORTILLA'S FILLED WITH NAPKINS, STRAWS AND SALT PACKETS

YEAH...THAT DRIVE-THRU'S BEEN WORSE THAN USUAL LATELY.

WHAT KIND OF MALCONTENTS ARE THEY HIRING NOW??

I HAVE FOUND MY CALLING.

OH, PIGITA, YOUR EYES ARE LIKE LIMPING POOLS.
LIMPID.
LIMPING LIMPIDS.

LOOK AT THIS SHOW
ON THE LOST CITY
OF ATLANTIS.
I GOT
LOST IN
ALBUQUERQUE
ONCE.
NO, PIG...THIS IS
ABOUT A WHOLE
CITY THAT WAS
LOST.
GEE...EVEN
THOSE
HELPFUL
GAS STATION
GUYS?
THEY DIDN'T
HAVE
GAS
STATIONS.
NO WONDER
THEY
GOT
LOST.

I'VE JUST DONE A STUDY OF EVERYONE IN A RELATIONSHIP WHO'S EVER SAID, "I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER."
WHAT FOR?
WELL, I WANTED TO TRY AND CALCULATE AN AVERAGE FOR JUST HOW LONG "FOREVER" WAS.
WHAT'D YOU FIND?
IT'S SEVEN MONTHS.
THAT'S NOT VERY FOREVER.
NO, BUT "FOREVER AND EVER" BUYS YOU ANOTHER SIX WEEKS.

HEY, THOSE ARE GREAT LITTLE FIGURINES...
WHAT ARE THEY, SPACE ALIENS?
YEAH, THEY COME IN THESE FROZEN VEGETABLE PACKAGES WE BUY.
GOSH, I'D LOVE TO GET SOME, BUT I'M AFRAID I WOULDN'T KNOW WHICH VEGETABLE PACKAGE TO BUY.
DO NOT BE AFRAID.
THEY COME IN PEAS.

hi there. I’m your cartoonist this week. Stephen left me in charge of the strip.
I'm john, Stephen's neighbor.
Everyone else is busy. He also compelled me to fill in for him with physical threats.
But without any cartoon training, how do I even start?
hmmm.... how about a joke? Cartoons always have jokes. A guy walks into a bar...
He takes a step and waits for the laughter to come.
Better yet, I'll just copy Stephen's notes and draft a response.
"Dear weenie head,
I'm your biggest fan and have begun knitting my own lion scarves in your honor.
Would it help improve your comic strips on larger paper, dork?"
NO THANKS
A+
GREAT WORK.
Okay, now let's see how he constructs the strip.
Stephen’s hand movements are very confusing. But I think I've managed to complete it.
FA LA LA LA
Still, there seems to be so much more to this than drawing.

One more detail: the lane in front of Stephen's house is blocked due to the garbage.
YIKES!!!

LOOK AT THIS POOR GUY TESTIFYING BEFORE CONGRESS... I THINK HE'S SPEAKING ON BEHALF OF PEOPLE WITH DISFIGURING MARKS ON THEIR FACE.
YOU DUMB PIG... THAT BLACK RECTANGLE IS OVER HIS EYES BECAUSE HE WANTS TO HIDE HIS IDENTITY.
I DON'T BLAME HIM.

WELCOME TO ROCKBUSTER VIDEO. MAY I HELP YOU?
UH... YEAH. ...I'D LIKE TO RENT THIS ONE...
...OKAY THEN... WE'VE GOT "BUXOM PIGGY BABES AFTER DARK"!!! ISN'T THAT NICE... SOMETHING THE WHOOOLE FAMILY CAN SEE!!!
I'M THINKING WE NEED "PAY PER VIEW."

TELL ME, SHAMUS, PATRON SAINT OF THE MONKEYS ... DO MONKEYS SIN?
OH, YES. ESPECIALLY THE RHESUS.
AND THEY CONFESS TO YOU?
YES ... IF THEY WANT TO ACHIEVE INNER PEACE.
RHESUS PEACE?
NO THANKS ... I DON'T EAT CHOCOLATE.

I'M PIG. WHO ARE YOU?
SHAMUS... PATRON SAINT OF THE MONKEYS.
PATRON SAINT OF THE MONKEYS?
YES... I LED THE MONKEYS OUT OF IRELAND.
THERE ARE MONKEYS IN IRELAND?
NOT ANYMORE.

I JUST SAW THIS TRAVEL SHOW ON EUROPEAN HOTELS... ...MAKES YOU WANT TO GO THERE.
WHY IS THAT?
WELL, FOR ONE THING, THEY'VE GOT THESE NEAT LITTLE DRINKING FOUNTAINS IN THE BATHROOM.
THOSE ARE BIDETS, PIG.
OH... IS THAT FRENCH FOR DRINKING FOUNTAIN?

FATHER TIME, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I'M TIRED. IT'S BEEN A TERRIBLE YEAR. I'M THINKING ABOUT VISITING DR. KEVORKIAN AND ENDING IT ALL.
I THINK HE'S IN JAIL...
THEN WILL YOU HELP ME?
SURE.
IF ANYONE NEEDS ME, TELL THEM I'M JUST KILLING TIME.

WHERE IS PIG TODAY?
I TOOK HIM TO THE BUS STATION. HE'S GOING ON SOME TRIP.
WHERE DID HE GO?
WHO KNOWS? PROBABLY TO THE BEACH OR SOMETHING. ISN'T THAT WHAT EVERYONE DOES ON THESE LONG WEEKENDS?

THIS HAS BEEN A GREAT DATE, AMY. YOU KNOW, I'D REALLY LIKE TO KISS YOU.
GO AHEAD. STOP.
I'M SORRY... DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?
NOT AT ALL. I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO KISS ME... STOP.
NEVER DATE A GIRL WHO WORKS IN A TELEGRAPH OFFICE.

HEY, PIG, IT'S ME, RAT... LISTEN, I'M COMING BACK TO THE STRIP. TURNS OUT THAT "LOVEY'S" CHICK HAS A BOYFRIEND.
WHAT ABOUT GOAT?
GEE, HE SHOULD BE BACK BY NOW. HE LEFT "FAMILY CIRCUS" THIS MORNING... HE MUST HAVE GOTTEN LOST SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY.
THIS COULD GET MESSY.

DR. PASTIS, I'M AFRAID I HAVE MORE BAD NEWS... PIG LEFT THE STRIP TODAY.
WHAT? WHERE'D HE GO?
TO VISIT AN OLD FRIEND IN BOSTON.
BOSTON? WHO DOES THAT DUMB PIG KNOW IN BOSTON?
GET OFF THE COUCH, YOU @#$%*!?
IT'S OKAY... HE'S LIKE THAT TO EVERYBODY.

LISTEN, RAT. YOU'VE GOT TO COME BACK. PASTIS IS FILLING OUR SPACE WITH CLASSIFIED ADS.
FORGET IT, PIG... I LEFT "FAMILY CIRCUS" AND FOUND AN EVEN BETTER GIG.
WHAT IS IT?
love is ... ...being held by a naked chick.

WELL, HELLO, PIG... WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?
IT'S THE STRIP, SIR. EVERYONE'S GONE... I THINK WE'RE DOOMED.
OH, PIG, LISTEN... NO ONE'S READ THE COMICS SINCE "CALVIN AND HOBBES" ENDED. THEY CAN JUST FILL THE SPACE WITH SOME OTHER FEATURE.
WHAT COULD REPLACE US?

HI, PIG... IT'S ME, ZEBRA... LISTEN, I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT I'M GONNA LEAVE THE STRIP FOR A LITTLE WHILE, TOO... I WANT TO VISIT MY HERD.
YOU CAN'T... PASTIS FIRED NANCY AND SUGGO, SO THAT JUST LEAVES ME, PIGITA AND CHUCKIE THE SHEEP.
CARE FOR SOME MUTTON, HONEY?

What's that thing?
Looks like some kind of bug.
Excuse me? "Some kind of bug"? I, sir, am a "Leptus Sourianum", a rare and exotic bug protected under the Federal Endangered Species Act.
What I'm handing you now is a list of federal, state and local agencies you will need to contact before you may resume your loathsome construction project.
Those agencies will perform an exhaustive, eighteen-month review of the situation and outline the necessary steps you must take to protect my delicate habitat.
Of course, what's a few months' delay and some cost overruns when it comes to saving a Leptus Sourianum?
I wish all my problems were that simple.

LISTEN, RAT, NOW GOAT'S LEFT THE STRIP.
YEAH, HE'S WITH THE..
... 'FAMILY CIRCUS' MADE HIM AN OFFER HE COULDN'T REFUSE.
"FAMILY CIRCUS"?? DOES HE LIKE IT?
YEAH, BUT SOME THINGS TAKE A LITTLE GETTING USED TO.
"We love you, dear Grandpa."

WHERE YOU GOING, GOAT?
I'M LEAVING THE STRIP, TOO. NOTHING PERSONAL, BUT I'VE NEVER LIKED ANY OF YOU GUYS.
BUT YOU CAN'T DO THAT! ... THERE'S NO WAY PASTIS CAN REPLACE TWO CHARACTERS!
"ZEBRA"?? YOUR NAME'S JUST "ZEBRA"?
GEE, THAT TOOK A LOT OF CREATIVITY!

THE PEARLS LABOR DISPUTE, DAY 4
RAT, YOU'VE GOT TO COME BACK TO THE STRIP.
FORGET IT. PASTIS WON'T MEET MY DEMANDS.
BUT WHO'S HE GONNA GET TO REPLACE YOU?
I DUNNO. BUT I HEAR HE'S BEEN INTERVIEWING EVERYONE.
I'M SORRY... I JUST DON'T KNOW ANY BIG DOG JOKES.

THE PEARLS LABOR DISPUTE, DAY 3
SO WHAT ARE
YOU DEMANDING
FROM
PASTIS, RAT?
FOR ONE THING, I
WANT BLONDIE TO
MAKE ONE GUEST
SHOT PER WEEK.
SHE'S HOT AND I
THINK SHE'D DIG ME.
WHAT'D HE
OFFER
YOU?
CATHY.
HOLY @#%*..
HE'S PLAYING
HARDBALL.
IT WAS
A SLAP
IN THE
FACE.

WHERE ARE YOU, RAT?
I LEFT THE STRIP... PASTIS WOULDN'T MEET MY DEMANDS, SO I MOVED OVER TO "FAMILY CIRCUS."
"FAMILY CIRCUS"?? HOW'S IT GOING?
"I feel like a #^F%$#* snail."